The Secret Formula for Boomer Dating Success

Let's face it: Dating is daunting. And when you're a Boomer, it may seem next to impossible. You might be coming out of a long-term marriage, or emerging from a period of time where you were consumed with raising children or caring for elderly parents — or, perhaps you still are responsible for children and possibly parents. Have your "dating muscles" atrophied?

You might feel like you don't have the slightest idea how to go about flirting, meeting the opposite sex, much less handling issues of sexually transmitted diseases. You might feel like your body isn't in the same shape it once was. Disrobing in front of a romantic partner? Definitely not.

Plus, today's dating world doesn't remotely resemble the one you knew. How proactive are women supposed to be? Is the third-date rule (for having sex) still in effect? Just how do you handle an HIV discussion? Is online dating reliable, safe, or even effective? And all these questions and difficulties are magnified for female Boomers, who outnumber their male counterparts and also have to compete with younger women.

Yet many Boomers, including women, have gone out there and had the fun and excitement of their teenage years all over again — and with the wisdom of the years, it's even better! A 54 year-old artist recently e-mailed me about her new Boomer boyfriend:

"Joe adores me. He tells me I am a treasure, a rare beauty. I make him feel alive after so many years of being dead. Joe loves my voice, my thoughts, my work. He bought riding boots and we went riding together. His 95-year-old mom in Miami wants to see my photo."

Many Boomers have created love in their lives — the kind of deeply fulfilling love that offers true friendship along with the chemistry of lovers. Love, of course, is good for us. Research shows that married people are healthier both emotionally and physically. And having sex is good for us, too. Research shows that an active sex life may lead to a longer life, a better immune system, greater heart health, improved mood, even the ability to prevent certain cancers and ward off pain. Intercourse typically burns around 200 calories, which is equivalent to running on the treadmill for 30 minutes! And both activities release endorphins, which elevate mood and lower pain levels.

Tip: Take care of you. For the outer (and inner) you, start a regular exercise program. It is the fountain of youth. Give yourself a makeover so that you look great in your own eyes. Get that trendy haircut, go shopping, try out those clothes that your friend wears that give him or her a sexy, attractive, or powerful look.