The 40/70 Rule: Talk Now Rather Than Later

The quality of communication between adult children and their senior parents leaves a lot to be desired, according to a study from the senior care company Home Instead. The findings of the study led researchers to coin the phrase "the 40/70 rule."

"This means that if you are 40, or your parents are 70, it's time to start talking about sensitive topics," says James Cooke of Home Instead Senior Care. "Waiting until the senior parent is 80 or older, when there is increasing likelihood of more severe health issues, can lead to problems."

Adult children generally find that the most difficult topics to tackle are those that deal with independence issues, for example, talking with their parents about leaving their home for a retirement residence, assisted-living facility, or nursing home, as well as financial matters and driving issues.

The quality of communications seems to be influenced by the gender of the parent, topic of conversation, and whether the parent lives with the child. Forty-seven percent said it was easier to communicate with their senior mother; only 8 percent said it was easier to communicate with their senior father. The study also found that family communications may be more difficult when senior parents live with their Boomer-aged children.