America is a land of opportunity. Everybody can become a taxpayer.

The donkey and the elephant play important roles in American politics. The bull plays a major role too.

There are only two kinds of failure: the person who will do nothing until he is told, and the person who will do nothing else.

The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you're asleep.

It's a small world, once you've made the long trip to the airport.

You can't fool all the people all the time, but airline schedules come pretty close.

A divorce is what couples agree on when they can't agree on anything else.

The real spirit of conversation consists in building on another person's observation, not overturning it.

It's a pretty safe rule that the person who always agrees with you is not worth talking to.

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