If the world laughs at you, laugh back -- the world is as funny as you are.

The person who thinks he knows it all has merely stopped thinking.

Life's greatest satisfactions: getting the last laugh; having the last word; paying the last installment.

Dough is the wrong term for money. Dough sticks to your hands.

People who can hold their tongues rarely have any trouble holding their friends.

If you have something of importance to say, for God's sake start at the end.

The closest anyone ever comes to perfection is on a job application form.


He who lives far from neighbors may safely praise himself.


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