If you don't go to other people's funerals, they won't go to yours.

Never ask old people how they are if you have anything else to do that day.

Jerry Seinfeld

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.

Lionel Kaufman

Children are a great comfort in your old age -- and they help you reach it faster too.

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

If you survive long enough, you are revered -- rather like an old building.

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