Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
When I feel athletic, I go to a sports bar.
A good sport has to lose to prove it.
I bet on a horse at ten to one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become.
Every hero becomes a bore at last.
A celebrity is one who is known to many people he is glad he doesn't know.
The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault.