Henny Youngman

I bet on a horse at ten to one. It didn't come in until half-past five.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

Dave Barry

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

A celebrity is one who is known to many people he is glad he doesn't know.

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault.

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