I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead.

Eating an artichoke is like getting to know someone really well.

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

There are very few people who don't become more interesting when they stop talking.

Bert Leston Taylor

A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

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