I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell.

Garrison Keillor

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

People on horses look better than they are; people in cars look worse.

You can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

I'm Feel So Miserable Without You, It's Almost Like Having You Here

Ernie Kovacs

Television: a medium. So-called because it is neither rare nor well-done.

Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in the corners of our rooms.

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