October is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.

Taxpayer: Someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take a civil service exam.

Saving is a very fine thing, especially when your parents have done it for you.

J. Paul Getty

My formula for success: Rise early, work hard, strike oil.

Money does not necessarily bring happiness. People with 100 million dollars are no happier than people with 50 million.

Q: How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. It's a hardware problem.

Jackie Mason

I have enough money to last the rest of my life. Unless I buy something.

Dennis Miller

If you get to 35 and your job still involves wearing a name tag, you've probably made a serious vocational error.


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