I'm paranoid. On my stationary bike, I have a rearview mirror.

If it ain't broke, you can probably still fix it. That's my motto.

I went on a 45-day diet. It's going great. I've already lost 30 days.

Jennifer Aniston

There's nothing better than contagious laughter.

Dennis Miller

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the home.

A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

Angelina Jolie

I am odd-looking. Sometimes I think I look like a Muppet.

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