Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.

Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc jockey is not allowed to talk.

Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.

Original thought is like original sin: Both happened before you were born to people you could not possibly have met.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.

Fran Lebowitz

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.

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