The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one's soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you are not attractive -- you are leaking.

As a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.

Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? A: Anyone can roast beef.

Q: How do crazy people go through the forest? A: They take the psycho path.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A: Frostbite.

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