You are 87 percent water. The other 13 percent keeps you from drowning.

Bette Midler

All these new girls are so trashy... and do I get a thank-you note?

We have genuflected before the god of science only to find that it has given us the atomic bomb, producing fears and anxieties that science can never mitigate.

As the horsepower of modern automobiles steadily rises, the congestion of traffic steadily lowers the average speed of your car. This is known as Progress.

What's the average man's life but a succession of cars? When he dies, we should carve on his tombstone simply the makes and years.

Geoffrey Robertson

Psychiatrists have a financial interest in being wrong. The more children they can disturb, the larger their adult clientele.

She is a stern woman, who looks as if her idea of a good time would be knitting, preferably under the guillotine.

There is a fault common to all singers: Among their friends they never are inclined to sing when asked; unasked, they never desist.

He's a most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise-breaker, the owner of not one good quality.

Diane de Poitiers

The years that a woman subtracts from her age are not lost. They are added to the ages of other women.

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