Once a newspaper touches a story, the facts are lost forever, even to the protagonists.
Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs.
Whenever I feel like exercising, I lie down until the feeling passes.
I get my exercise acting as a pall-bearer to my friends who exercise.
No one has ever actually called a cat. They come when they wish.
Horses: Dangerous at both ends, and uncomfortable in the middle
The only athletic sport I ever mastered was backgammon.
Journalism could be described as turning one's enemies into money.
God save all here, barring the cat.
Veni, Vidi, Vici: I came, I saw, I conquered.