The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books—how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.

Crossing the street in New York keeps old people young—if they make it.

The only people who say worse things about politicians than reporters do are other politicians.

Ginger Rogers

When two people love each other, they don’t look at each other, they look in the same direction.

Erma Bombeck

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Erma Bombeck

For years [my wedding ring] has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.

Make-believe colors the past with innocent distortion, and it swirls ahead of us in a thousand ways—in science, in politics, in every bold intention. It is part of our collective lives, entwining our past and our future...a particularly rewarding aspect of life itself.

If you really want to help the American theater, don’t be an actress, dahling. Be an audience.

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