Sometimes I think I understand everything... then I regain consciousness.
The pessimist says the glass is half empty. The optimist says the glass is half full. The engineer says the glass is twice as big as it should be.
It was a bad day at the office. The computer broke down and we all had to do our own thinking.
Everybody is entitled to my opinion.
At McDonalds, if you order just fries, do they say, "Would you like fries with that?"
Cheer up! Things may be getting worse at a slower rate.
I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
If you want people to remember you, owe them money.
Did ancient Roman doctors refer to IVs as "fours"?
I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You