Sometimes I think I understand everything... then I regain consciousness.

The pessimist says the glass is half empty. The optimist says the glass is half full. The engineer says the glass is twice as big as it should be.

It was a bad day at the office. The computer broke down and we all had to do our own thinking.

At McDonalds, if you order just fries, do they say, "Would you like fries with that?"

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